How to Build Support from Within (Even on the Tough Days)
Ever had one of those weeks where everything feels a little shaky? Maybe work is chaotic, or life is throwing curveballs left and right. During these moments, we often look for reassurance; we search for something outside of us to make everything feel okay. But here is the thing: the most reliable source of support is the one you build within yourself.
What Does “Support” Even Mean?
When we think of support, we usually picture a friend who shows up when we need them, a warm hug, or even a structured routine that keeps life running smoothly. And sure, those things help. But real stability comes from the foundation you create inside; the quiet confidence that reminds you, I’ve got this.
Support isn’t just people; it’s the small practices, thoughts, and habits that anchor us.
Balancing Internal & External Support
Imagine you're standing in the middle of a storm. External support, like routines, relationships, and a steady environment, is like holding an umbrella. It helps, but it doesn’t stop the storm. Internal support, however, is the solid ground beneath your feet. It’s the deep breath that steadies you, the self-trust that says I know how to handle this.
Here’s how to build both:
Internal Support: Breathwork, grounding techniques such as noticing your feet on the floor or the steadiness of your breath or your hands in your lap, giving yourself a hug, affirmations such as “I’ve got this” or “I am strong”, trusting your body’s signals so that you understand when you need to rest or when you need to move.
External Support: Structured routines, supportive relationships, therapy or coaching, a calming home environment.
When you strengthen your internal foundation, external chaos doesn’t feel quite so overwhelming.
You are individual and the support you need is unique to you.
A client, with two young children, found that 10 minutes of morning yoga or meditation, after school drop-off and before work, helped her feel less overwhelmed and more focused for the day.
Another client started using a self-supporting affirmation to start the day with a positive mindset (internal support). To help establish this as a routine she would send me a “🦸🏻♀️superhero emoji” to signify that she had done it (external support). This, in turn, increased her self-esteem and confidence.
I find that doing 10-15 mins of yoga every morning helps me to start the day from a place of calm and clarity that filters into the rest of the day. Sometimes this is just lying on the floor, other times it is more involved, it depends on how I feel. This is not something that has happened over night though……. It has taken me a bit of time to establish this as a routine, but this blend of internal and external support is just what I need to stop the plates all spinning at the same time.
So, What Stops You Supporting Yourself?
Ever noticed how easy it is to take care of others, but somehow, taking care of yourself feels…selfish? That’s guilt talking, and it’s a huge barrier to self-support. The truth? Prioritising your well-being makes you better at showing up for the people and responsibilities in your life.
Another barrier I often hear is “I don’t have time.” But the truth is, you don’t need to commit to hours, not even 30 minutes. Time is often just an excuse, partly because making changes can be challenging. First be honest with yourself and look at what you are doing with your time, could you make a tweak in your time. Alternatively, why not turn it around and ask yourself “what time do I have for” or “how much time do I have.” Just one minute of conscious breathing can go a long way to resetting your nervous system, especially when you repeated it multiple times during the day.
However, if you start small and make it achievable then change becomes possible.
For someone with a demanding job, this change might look like closing your eyes for a minute between meetings, or after hanging up a call. For a new parent, it could simply be noticing the rhythm of your breath while holding the baby. These practices don’t need to be time-consuming or dramatic. They just need to be yours.
If you need help with finding something that works, then contact me – I would love to help bring you back to you!
Think about it: when you feel grounded, you’re more patient, more present, and more resilient. So, instead of feeling guilty about taking a moment for yourself, remind yourself that taking care of me helps me take care of everything else.
Small Rituals That Make a Big Difference
Support isn’t about grand gestures; it’s about consistency. Stability comes from the predictable moments you create each day:
Morning: A deep breath and a light stretch before checking your phone.
Midday: Stepping outside for two minutes, even if it’s just to look at the sky.
Evening: Unplugging for a bit, sipping tea, journaling, or just sitting in stillness.
These little rituals aren’t magic, but they do create a rhythm that makes life feel more manageable.
I love a routine; it is what really helps me feel like the world isn’t spinning faster & faster.
Establishing a routine provides an anchor in your daily lives, it lets you know what is happening and helps you prioritise your well-ness.
I encourage clients to book in regular sessions. It gives them a moment in their week where they know they can take time and look after them.
And it is why I give them short easy to access practices to help them through the week. These practices helped one of my clients recently. They couldn’t have make their normal lesson, as they were busy with work. However, they remembered practices that we had done and used box breathing and a simple standing mountain pose to help them stay calm and connected as they travelled from place to place.
Final Thoughts: You Are Your Home Base
At the end of the day, the strongest support system is you. Yes, life will throw challenges your way. Yes, things will feel unstable sometimes. But when you cultivate a sense of safety within yourself, through breath, routine, and trust, you create a foundation that carries you forward.
So, what’s one small way you can support yourself today?
